what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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