didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
