I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
