like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
