If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
