Please, let me fuck your mom
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
