Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
