he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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