Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
