wat bout pragnant strippers??
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Randomize
