suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
