I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
