Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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