She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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