I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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