I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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