I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
