so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
