please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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