Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
