Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just had sex on a roof
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
