Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
