I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
