she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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