There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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