She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Randomize
