How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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