I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
