his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
