It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize