Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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