Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
