UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Never underestimate the power of titties
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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