Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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