North Korea, Best Korea!
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
