Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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