sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
There r osticjed everywhere
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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