No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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