dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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