He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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