I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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