i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
