He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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