Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
