Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
