so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
