dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
