The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize