My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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