So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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