he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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