In the future we'll all be gay
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
