well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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