Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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