go do what you do best...puke behind churches
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
