They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
