i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
