he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
