I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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