Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
