No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
