i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
