i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
whose parrot is this?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
