I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
